It’s been one of those days. I can’t get focused for some reason, which is totally out of character for me. I’m having trouble connecting thoughts and remaining on topic. I’m reading and rereading and not getting anywhere. I think I’ve had to charge my phone twice today because I kept adding Reminders and grocery items and checking the weather and seeing why my Facebook notifications were flashing. I have been procrastinating, and I loathe procrastination. I found things on the internet and television to distract me nearly all day, and I normally work with music on so that I can keep working without distractions.
I’m yawning and stretching every two minutes, and I keep feeling like I have to flex my toes and ankles. I’m never one to crack my knuckles, but I caught myself doing it today. Twice.
To make things worse, I caught myself biting my fingernails three times today. Actually, the biggest problem I’ve found since starting this writing venture is that I’m losing fingernails daily. I don’t have some sort of fingernail-eating bacteria invading my hands, or anything; I have a bad habit. When I was younger, I bit my fingernails. My mom tried everything from painting terrible-tasting liquid on my nails to making me wear gloves. Nothing worked. I remember bloody fingers and painful days, just because I couldn’t kick that stupid habit. The day that I finally quit was the day that I got the call for my first teaching interview. (Yes, I still bit my nails well past my teen years.) I had two weeks to let my nails grow, and I was determined to do it. From that point on, I knew that I had to be an adult and exercise some self-control over my fingers. And, I was successful until about a month ago.
Now, I catch myself biting my nails when I’m stuck on a sentence or a word or I’m struggling with an idea or a difficult subject. It’s been eleven years since I last bit my fingernails, and here I am, staring at four nails that don’t look like they belong on my hands because there’s almost nothing left of them.
I don’t know what made today so different for me, but I hope that it’s one of those things that rarely happens, or I might not be able to do this writing thing after all. It’s hard to write about the weirdos on the morning game shows and what my friends are up to on Facebook, so I really better find a way to cut out these distractions the next time they happen.
Ooh – I have six new notifications, two new emails, and a text. What the Hell?
(Connect with me @baileyshawley or share this post on Facebook so your friends can see what you’ve been reading.)